Having a tough day? Remember the notepad in your “tool belt”? It is time to break it out and begin writing. The best recipe for feeling better almost instantly is listing everything you can think of for which you are grateful. Pause every day for two weeks, eight times a day and write ten things for which you are grateful. After two weeks, throttle back to four times each day for the next two months! Be specific and think of as many new things as you can each day.
After being grateful for 80 specific things a day for three days your list will get very interesting. It may read something like this. I am grateful for being alive another day; for clean sheets; for a soft bed; for two legs to get out of bed and walk to the bathroom; for clean, hot water; for a clean shower; for clean, soft towels; for a clean toothbrush and toothpaste; for being able to brush my own teeth; for a choice of breakfast food; for ant-free food; for green grass; for breezes to cool the temperatures.
At some point you run out of your own things and become grateful for things on behalf of other people. Your focus moves from yourself and your family to others. You may be grateful for the new home your best friend just purchased, or the business success your brother has had, or the health of your neighbor’s new baby.
When you run out of other peoples’ things, the real magic begins. You start to think of what you will have and what other people will have. Your list starts to read something like this. I am grateful for the quick recovery from surgery my brother will have; and for the sales my friend in real estate will make this month; and for the dream home our friends will buy.
Build thankfulness into your life and see your world change. Pay attention to people for whom everything seems easy. Good things seem to continuously flow their way. Being thankful for all things is their secret. Whatever happens they are continually happy with their lives.
I have personally made this gratitude exercise a part of my life. It has been a magical journey! Amazing synchronicities happen almost daily. And, I feel great every day.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Five Must-Have Tools for Tuning Up Your Frame of Mind
The way you think is fundamentally responsible for the results you get. It’s true. Your thoughts form the beliefs you have. Your beliefs create the expectations you have. Your expectations drive the results you get. Life really is that simple. You get to choose your thoughts. The tricky part is that you have about 60,000 thoughts each day, most of which occur in your subconscious and unconscious mind, many of which are left over from childhood. So how do you ensure that your thinking is aligned with the results you want? You equip your frame-of-mind “tool belt” with these five “tools”:
1. A Hammer. Use your hammer to hammer out thoughts that make you feel badly. If you are not feeling good it is an indicator that your thoughts are not aligned with what you want.
2. A Flashlight. Use your flashlight to illuminate the thought behind the way you feel. Once you identify the thought you can trade it for a slightly better-feeling thought. Keep trading up until you feel good again.
3. A Magnifying Glass. Use your magnifying glass to find what is right and good about your life right now. Through the magnifying glass what is good dwarfs everything else.
4. Vice Grips. Use your vice grips to hold your thoughts on all that is right and good in your life. Take time to appreciate what is in your grips. What you appreciate appreciates.
5. A Notepad and pen. Use your notepad and pen to record your thoughts and feelings. Pause throughout the day and write down ten things for which you are grateful. Gratitude is the best remedy for feeling better fast and keeping those good feelings!
Equip your “tool belt” with these tools at all times. When bad-feeling thoughts creep in you will be prepared to be happy again by tuning up your mind and tuning out the negative!
1. A Hammer. Use your hammer to hammer out thoughts that make you feel badly. If you are not feeling good it is an indicator that your thoughts are not aligned with what you want.
2. A Flashlight. Use your flashlight to illuminate the thought behind the way you feel. Once you identify the thought you can trade it for a slightly better-feeling thought. Keep trading up until you feel good again.
3. A Magnifying Glass. Use your magnifying glass to find what is right and good about your life right now. Through the magnifying glass what is good dwarfs everything else.
4. Vice Grips. Use your vice grips to hold your thoughts on all that is right and good in your life. Take time to appreciate what is in your grips. What you appreciate appreciates.
5. A Notepad and pen. Use your notepad and pen to record your thoughts and feelings. Pause throughout the day and write down ten things for which you are grateful. Gratitude is the best remedy for feeling better fast and keeping those good feelings!
Equip your “tool belt” with these tools at all times. When bad-feeling thoughts creep in you will be prepared to be happy again by tuning up your mind and tuning out the negative!
Friday, July 24, 2009
THOSE ARE FIGHTING WORDS – NOW WHAT?
It’s the end of another great day to be in real estate. You held a contract together despite the home inspection results, all while maintaining your commission. You listed two sellable properties. You enjoyed three hours of lead generating and managing those leads. You are standing in the kitchen whipping up another tasty dinner, when your 14-year-old daughter walks in.
“I hate living with you!” she declares as she plops herself on the kitchen floor, arms crossed, legs crossed, eyes crossed.
What are you thinking at this critical moment? Do you react, snapping back at her without thinking, ensuring a miserable evening for both of you? Or, do you pause, collect yourself, and respond, curious about the real issue?
Here is what happened when Becky, one amazing divorced mom, chose to respond.
Becky took a deep breath. She plopped onto the floor beside her daughter, mustered her courage, and asked the question.
“Why do you hate living with me?”
“Because the house is so big, and when I come home from school you give me so many chores to do. There is no one to help me, Mom.”
“What else?”
“You are so busy. You can’t always help me with my homework.”
“Go on…”
“Every time we order pizza we have leftovers.”
“Ah. Do you miss your sister?”
“Why did she have to leave home to go to college? Why couldn’t she go to the university in town?”
“I miss her, too. I wonder what she is doing right now? Give me a hug and then let’s call your sister.”
Becky confessed that this was a rare moment when she had the presence of mind to have a healthy exchange with her daughter when she started the dialogue with fighting words.
So the most important concept to remember is this: You can react or you can respond. Your thoughts are your choice. You can choose thoughts that make you feel good, or thoughts that make you feel bad. When you are feeling hurt, focus on feeling better. Call a family member or friend. Hug someone. Get an ice cream. Take a walk. Listen to great music. Focus on what is great, good, or even okay right now. You are much more likely to respond and get the outcome you desire the moment you move toward a better frame of mind.
“I hate living with you!” she declares as she plops herself on the kitchen floor, arms crossed, legs crossed, eyes crossed.
What are you thinking at this critical moment? Do you react, snapping back at her without thinking, ensuring a miserable evening for both of you? Or, do you pause, collect yourself, and respond, curious about the real issue?
Here is what happened when Becky, one amazing divorced mom, chose to respond.
Becky took a deep breath. She plopped onto the floor beside her daughter, mustered her courage, and asked the question.
“Why do you hate living with me?”
“Because the house is so big, and when I come home from school you give me so many chores to do. There is no one to help me, Mom.”
“What else?”
“You are so busy. You can’t always help me with my homework.”
“Go on…”
“Every time we order pizza we have leftovers.”
“Ah. Do you miss your sister?”
“Why did she have to leave home to go to college? Why couldn’t she go to the university in town?”
“I miss her, too. I wonder what she is doing right now? Give me a hug and then let’s call your sister.”
Becky confessed that this was a rare moment when she had the presence of mind to have a healthy exchange with her daughter when she started the dialogue with fighting words.
So the most important concept to remember is this: You can react or you can respond. Your thoughts are your choice. You can choose thoughts that make you feel good, or thoughts that make you feel bad. When you are feeling hurt, focus on feeling better. Call a family member or friend. Hug someone. Get an ice cream. Take a walk. Listen to great music. Focus on what is great, good, or even okay right now. You are much more likely to respond and get the outcome you desire the moment you move toward a better frame of mind.
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